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Brand Name Message Boards › Living with a Denture Wearer? › Meet Len

Reply to Meet Len

Posted: August 17, 2009 3:37 pm
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Fixodent_Mod

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Posts: 13
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August 17, 2009
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Meet Len

Posted: August 17, 2009 3:37 pm

Name: Len
Age: 72
Family: Married with four grown kids and four grandkids
Occupation: Computer software IT consultant
Dentures: Wife has had dentures for eight years

"I want my wife to enjoy her dentures, but I feel bad that she can't."

When Len's wife, Carol, had to get dentures eight years ago, he knew what she would go through—because he already had them. "I remember that she didn't think it was that big a deal," he recalls. "It wasn't a showstopper; it was more of a speed bump." However, after getting full uppers and partial lowers, her experience has been anything but pleasant, and it has become a touchy subject.

Len says, "Carol's dentures were ill-fitting from the get-go. The dentist has offered to fix them several times, but she refuses to go back." Len attributes Carol's reluctance to return to the dentist to her fear of gagging on the molding compound, which occurred when she originally got measured for her dentures. "Since then, Carol has said repeatedly that she won't go back," Len declares. "I think the dentist could help her get past a lot of her fears; she just has to know what to expect."

Len's opinion of dentures is the complete opposite of his wife's. Since getting a few initial adjustments made, his dentures have worked flawlessly. His job requires him to speak in front of groups, and he does so without any problems. Conversely, since his wife got hers, Len states, "As far as her dentures are concerned, I feel like her life hasn't gotten better." On top of her denture discomfort, Len states that chronic back pain has prevented Carol from dealing with anything else. "She probably would have gone back to the dentist if she didn't have back issues."

While Carol has refused to get her dentures adjusted, Len has noticed how her behavior and their relationship have subtly changed. "She's always been outgoing, a real extrovert," he states. "But since getting dentures, she's gotten more cautious about when she speaks." Additionally, Len has noticed that Carol has been much more selective when choosing restaurants. "She's a good sport about it," he remarks. "But (since getting dentures) she has started choosing different places to eat. She doesn't like barbecue anymore, salads, or any red meat." While it's apparent that Carol is not satisfied with her dentures, Len notes that she always keeps her dentures in, even when she sleeps. "She's not ashamed of having them," he notes. "But if she talked to other people who wore them, besides me, it would probably do her some good."

After nearly 50 years of being married, Len knows when to talk to Carol about sensitive subjects, and when not to. "I know and she knows that we're going to argue about her going back to the dentist. I can't make her go," he reflects. "She hides her pain well, so I don't really know how much it's bothering her. If she went back and got her dentures adjusted, she would be as satisfied as I am. But the older I get, the more I realize that I can't make her [go back]. She'll go when she's ready."

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tarlyn

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Posts: 2
From: North Babylon, NY
Registered:
September 29, 2009
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Reply to Meet Len

Posted: September 29, 2009 8:33 pm

I am the denture wearer you're married to. I am a woman and to women, our appearance is everything, or so society tells us. Once I could brush my hair and teeth, put on some lipstick and go. Now, I take my teeth out of a plastic case and put them in my mouth in shame. I am no longer the confident, outgoing woman I once was. I have not really, truly kissed my husband fully on his patient lips in almost 2 years. I do not eat in public for fear that my "teeth" will slip out. I have lost 50 pounds and look gaunt and older than my 50 years. Yes, there are implants, but they are impossibly expensive. I believe I am of the majority. Surely there's another way.

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sherry

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Posts: 2
From: bardstown, KY
Registered:
December 22, 2009
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Hi Lyn

Posted: December 22, 2009 4:45 pm

Im so sorry that you are feeling so bad :( My name is sherry and I am 41, i had full extractions and immediates placed one week ago today. My teeth LOOKED strong and healthy and my smaile was my greatest asset. but I have periodontial disease and my teeth (especially the front ones on bottom) were VERY loose and about to come out. the top were shifting and i was having alot of pain amd was terrified that i would lose a tooth (or more than one!) while at school. (Im a college student studying to be a nurse) I feel young and like you I am girly, like to do my hair and my makeup and be pretty. but i knew this was coming but i wasnt ready for it. its here tho and I have to make the best of it. Im stuggling with these temoraries, they are so bulky and from what they told me yesterday when i went for my first soft reline, it will only get bulkier with each reline. they were so painful that I didnt wear thyem the first week. My husband is 33 and is like your husband -extremely supportive and he loves me and thinks im beautiful no matter what.I had vowed he would NEVER see me w/o dentures but the pain I had at that first week caused me to break that vow. If I ever doubted my husbands love---and I havent--- that would have proven to me that he loves me unconditionally. Last night I was hurting and looking at pix of my smail before and said "What did I do??Im sorry you have a wife with no teeth." ( I have my pity party every now and then) But he said "Im not sorry you did it. This will pass and you will have perfect beautiful teeth that dont hurt you.You are YOU. always. In I love you. So hang in there until you get those permanents.And in case you dont know: I am really proud of you, you're really brave to have endured all of this especially having those extractions under local anesthesia." Its painful and humiliating and gross and the gaging is horrible but I know that it will be batter when I get those permenants in 6-8 months and it will be worth it. In January I have to go back to school. I know I'll have to explain to alot of ppl why I look and sound different. I dont have alot of friends but the few and I told them what I was going to do over Christmas break. The way I look at it is ppl that love me will love me regardless and the rest? Who cares what they think...and its likely they dont notice me enough to think anything anyway. Please Lyn, go back and get the adjustments done so that you can get back to that life you had before. You deserve it. (((Hugs)))

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sherry

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Posts: 2
From: bardstown, KY
Registered:
December 22, 2009
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Hi Lyn

Posted: December 22, 2009 4:46 pm

Im so sorry that you are feeling so bad :( My name is sherry and I am 41, i had full extractions and immediates placed one week ago today. My teeth LOOKED strong and healthy and my smaile was my greatest asset. but I have periodontial disease and my teeth (especially the front ones on bottom) were VERY loose and about to come out. the top were shifting and i was having alot of pain amd was terrified that i would lose a tooth (or more than one!) while at school. (Im a college student studying to be a nurse) I feel young and like you I am girly, like to do my hair and my makeup and be pretty. but i knew this was coming but i wasnt ready for it. its here tho and I have to make the best of it. Im stuggling with these temoraries, they are so bulky and from what they told me yesterday when i went for my first soft reline, it will only get bulkier with each reline. they were so painful that I didnt wear thyem the first week. My husband is 33 and is like your husband -extremely supportive and he loves me and thinks im beautiful no matter what.I had vowed he would NEVER see me w/o dentures but the pain I had at that first week caused me to break that vow. If I ever doubted my husbands love---and I havent--- that would have proven to me that he loves me unconditionally. Last night I was hurting and looking at pix of my smail before and said "What did I do??Im sorry you have a wife with no teeth." ( I have my pity party every now and then) But he said "Im not sorry you did it. This will pass and you will have perfect beautiful teeth that dont hurt you.You are YOU. always. In I love you. So hang in there until you get those permanents.And in case you dont know: I am really proud of you, you're really brave to have endured all of this especially having those extractions under local anesthesia." Its painful and humiliating and gross and the gaging is horrible but I know that it will be batter when I get those permenants in 6-8 months and it will be worth it. In January I have to go back to school. I know I'll have to explain to alot of ppl why I look and sound different. I dont have alot of friends but the few and I told them what I was going to do over Christmas break. The way I look at it is ppl that love me will love me regardless and the rest? Who cares what they think...and its likely they dont notice me enough to think anything anyway. Please Lyn, go back and get the adjustments done so that you can get back to that life you had before. You deserve it. (((Hugs)))

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ahgrisham

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Posts: 1
From: cabot, AR
Registered:
January 3, 2010
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Reply to Reply to Meet Len

Posted: January 6, 2010 5:28 pm

I can totally relate to you, I am 54 and have had my upper denture for nearly 3 years, It started out alright but as time went on I started having sinus and ear pain,and of course mouth pain. I seldom leave the house, I prefer to be alone because of the discomfort, I even left my job as a receptionist because I never knew how bad I would feel on any particular day. Anyway I have made an appointment for Another re line I hope it works. Go ahead and go to a dentist that you like( yes, I know they"re all young enough to be our kids)it can't be any worse than it is now, Lets GO for it!!!!

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Madhu_Fixodent

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Posts: 12
Registered:
November 11, 2009
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Reply to Reply to Reply to Meet Len

Posted: July 15, 2010 8:22 am

thanks for the information

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